Although California has been a “no-fault” divorce state since 1969, people still come to my office saying, “I don’t know if I have grounds for divorce.” That’s the stark simplicity of “no-fault”—in this state, the only standard for obtaining a divorce is proof that “irreconcilable differences have led to an irremediable breakdown of the marriage.” There’s no need to provide evidence of any wrongdoing, such as adultery or fraud, to have a valid claim for divorce.

Thus, when one party or the other concludes that the marriage is over, divorce proceedings can begin. Whether that person’s spouse agrees with this assessment is almost entirely beside the point.

A last-ditch effort

But just because the process has been simplified from the old days doesn’t mean divorce is easy. It’s not. Based on my extensive experience in this field of law, I can tell you—no one ever wins in a divorce. Unless the breakup is very amicable, (a rare occurrence), every divorce involves substantial emotional and financial issues. The situation takes its toll not only on the two people involved but on their friends and loved ones as well. And there can be a sizable expense, in terms of attorney fees, filing fees, and so on.

I always ask clients if they’ve considered other methods of resolving the situation, (marriage therapy is one possible solution), before making a final decision. Divorce should always be a last- ditch effort.

If the decision is final, the next step is the preparation of documents, including a petition for dissolution of marriage. The other party is then served with papers and the process is set in motion. It’s important to note that the court can’t dissolve marital status until at least six months after one side gets served with a petition. This doesn’t mean a marriage automatically gets dissolved after six months. Some divorce proceedings can last for years – sometimes longer than the marriage itself! Everything depends on the complexity of the issues involved and the ability of the parties to compromise and settle.

Keep your options open

A divorce proceeding generally focuses on some or all of these issues:

• Custody of children
• Spousal support
• Division of assets
• Division of debts

The decision on granting a divorce must come from a court of law but the parties involved don’t necessarily have to go to court themselves. In an amicable situation, everything is agreed upon outside of court. When issues can’t be resolved, the court must take action.

Generally, divorces fall into three broad categories: (1) amicable (2) some disputes exist but the parties resolve them and (3) contested divorces where husband and wife can’t resolve their issues, a judge will intervene. Most divorces fall into the second category.

If you’re contemplating divorce, whatever the situation, see an attorney first and explore your options. If you and your spouse agree divorce is inevitable, try working out a strategy that reduces the burden for everyone involved. You may not get everything you want from the divorce settlement but what you save in time, money, and emotional turmoil will be well worth it.

Are you in need of legal counseling? The Law Offices of Ian S. Topf offer free consultation on a variety of issues, ranging from estate planning, bankruptcy, family law to traffic violations, and landlord/tenant disputes.